Wednesday, January 25, 2012

I Just want to scream!

I could scream! So we got a new referral to a Dr. we hear is phenomenal. So I called expecting a 2-3 weeks out as told. Well I call and the scheduling woman tells me that the Dr. must first review his "file" and then from there its 6months out. She said if they dont call with in 6-7 weeks I can call back!

6-7 WEEKS!!??? SO... 6-7 Weeks + 6 Months = nearly 8 months till he is seen! Are you Freaking KIDDING ME! So he will be out of kindergarten.

I am exhausted with all of this already! I am fed up with the fact that Scotts job raised insurance and now we are left with so many less options and no longer working with our Pediatrician who would be much more helpful in assuring we were steered in the right direction.

I am overwhelmed to the max with all of this but will keep pushing thru cause Chandler is worth it. finding proper care is worth it.

So I called back the Dr and she is going to try to get the ball going a little more tomorrow once she is in the office; FINGERS CROSSED!

In the midst of all this stress both boys are sick and Chase has pink eye.... when It rains it pours for sure!

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Well today we went in to meet with Dr.Jordan. We sit down he says "why do you think your child is autistic" I said well Im not sure if he his and then went over behaviors,social,speach,ocupational,tantrums etc etc etc. He said "Ok you realize those are normal behaviors for 5 year olds.." UMMMM OK!

I pull out his school work and stuff to show him more examples and he could have cared less didnt even take them to look. He then handed me a packet to fill out of yes and no questions. While I do this he gives Chandler a preschool level photo flip book test. Then draws a line and asks him to write his "ABC's" on the line. He then makes dashes on my questionare and then puts it away and doesnt talk or ask any questions off it AT ALL.

He says he "does show signs of autism but that is probably because he has a neurological delay" which means he needs speech and ocupational therapy. and because he needs those therapys thats why he shows autistic traits.....HUH??

So writes a RX for speech 2x a week for 12mo and occupational therapy 2x a week for 12mo. and then tells me he's fine. I said what do you suggest about the anxiety issues? he said he is only anxious cause "Im a push over and he knows he can get away with it with me " WOW!! First off I am the strict parent so thats not true! Second UMMM your a professional!!??
He then hands me a print out of a book you can order on amazon that helps with anxious kids.

He then tells me that he's fine hes "just playing me" really my child has outburts and tantrums cause he's "Playing ME" Cause that makes sense!

Then tells me if I want to bring him back in two months he will re-test him. Which makes NO sense!

The interesting part was My dr sent us there cause she saw signs of Aspergers, not ONCE did this dr even use the word aspergers.

So I left and called a friend to see another oppinon, was a I just "being played" was I just trying to make some thing out of nothing?? she has known Chandler years and re-assured me she agrees the behaviors shes seen are not that of a typical 5 year old.

Still doubting my self and feeling like maybe I made it worse then it is... Then I call a friend who's son has Aspergers and we chatted a bit just to see if that was a normal type of Appt. and she strongly agreeded I needed a second oppinon and re-assured me mothers instinct knows.

I am by no means saying I hope he has Autism or Aspergers but I want him PROPERLY EVALUATED and if then it is normal behavior I will be very happy. But if it is something at all, he deserves to be happy and to be given the help and chance to be happy NOW not 10 yrs down the road.

So I get home still un-sure about it all and decide to google reviews. I am a review google queen and didnt have time to on him and had I done this before we would have asked for another referal.

I will say this reviews all though bad, made me feel a ton better and reassured me that I am not full of it. and that this SMUG Dr. was a HUGE waste of gas for my friendly little 62mile drive.

So tomorrow I call the other Dr. we found online and will make an appt. hopefully asap.

Monday, January 23, 2012


Well today I finally called Chandlers Dr. to follow up on the referral and got the information, and was reminded that typically they book months out. So I figured I better call ASAP, so I called and apparently I called too fast, the referral fax hadnt been sent yet. So I waited till I picked up the boys and called again. The lady answered and confirmed the referral and told me that the call before mine was a cancel for tomorrow at 330 and it was ours if we wanted it... I said YES! Thank you Lord for that Divine intervention.

Today a friend from the boys school had some books for me to borrow on Aspergers. One of them is for kids that go's over feelings/reactions etc. I read it with Chandler and then asked him if he knew why he was going to other Dr. and he said "cause I do some things different." I said yes, kind of. You havent done anything wrong we are going to the dr. to find out talk about "aspergers" he giggles and says "Asp Boogers, thats funny sounding" I said do you know how you get angry or scared sometimes? this will help us start to make it so you arent so scared or angry. I said would that make you happy. And he said yes. Chandler understands more then most understand. And from what I got from him he feels comfortable about the appointment , even with the possibility that he may have asp-boogers. ;)

I feel nervous,sad,anxious,worried etc etc etc. I am hoping we get some answers tomorrow and some direction. I guess my biggest fear is that I am going to have no clue. And the reality of it is that I really dont have a clue. But that I will learn more and more every day. After speaking to a friend today whos child has aspergers she agreed thats how she did it; just more and more and more each day. Im nervous about 1000 things and but feel hopeful and confident in it all. I may not get it today, I may not get it tomorrow but I will learn every day to make sure my little boy is 100% supported and given every chance for growth he can.
So no matter what these appointments result in and/or what we find out, we will learn it,live it and we will work together to overcome any challenges that may result cause of it.

Sunday, January 22, 2012

Monday Monday..

Well the weekend is over and Monday is almost here and back to school. School has
Became an anxious time for me lately cause I never know what
To expect. Will he line up and go to class like he's supposed to or will he
Cling and end up throwing an on the floor tantrum begging me
Not to leave him. The safest part is he LOVES school, loves his teachers
And has an amazing day. But his anxiety and serpeation anxiety from
Me get the best of him. Lately I've been making little rewards on Friday that he can get if
Gos all week fit free at drop off which does seem to be helping.

His anxiety seems to be at a high point this past few weeks. Just this weekend he had to sleep in
Bed with chase cause he was too scared to sleep alone.
I pray daily for his anxiety and fears and for him to be able to
Go thru days worry and fear free.
I wont stop praying that cause he will get
There, that is why we are finding everything out, so we can help
And be sure he can be happy and anxiety free!
Cause he's worth it!

Road to Gluten Free

So its been suggested that a gluten free diet can help with behavior/anger issues. I have always been open to trying anything that may help. I have decided we will slowly start transitioning foods to only gluten free for Chandler when we can. In the case of a birthday party and being offered cake I am going to allow him to have that etc. But most meals and snacks I do hope to be able to transition to Gluten Free.

So after posting on facebook for some tips on kid friendly gluten free foods and where you find them, off we went!! I managed to create a week of dinners that will stay with in gluten free for him. We also found some snacks and cereals that will stay with in gluten free as well. Thankfully Chandler has rarely been a big picky eater so I am hoping there isnt much change in taste and that he liked the items we chose.

Chandler is also a big cooker so having him be a part in making the meals will be fun as well. I dont know if it will make a difference but it deff. cant hurt to find out.

Now if some one would just hand me a list of what is and what isnt gluten free it would be this Alot less over whelming ;)

Saturday, January 21, 2012

Here We Go (First Blog)

"God doesn't give you more than you can handle."
"There is a reason why God made you their mom."

These are two quotes I just read on a great blog I just came across. I decided after reading thru her blog that I need an outlet. Since we arent speaking much with others about anything going on; I need a place to put it all until we do.

Last week I decided to take Chandler to the Dr. Main reason for the appt. was because of some recent anxiety and behavior issues that have gone on for some time but recently started becoming much worse.

After speaking with the Dr. she told me exactly what I suspected but thought I could be over reacting. The Dr. told me she cant diagnose but would refer me to a developmental specialist who she was pretty sure would diagnose him with Aspergers Disorder. Aspergers is what I was leading to believe he may have as well, after researching things online.

Hearing that come from a Dr. wasnt a surprise but sad none the less, no one likes there child to have to carry a "title" but at the point in Chandlers life a diagnosis is almost what he needs to get the help he needs.

I think the signs really hit that it was more then "being 5" when the tantrums became more extreme and public. While in a resturant something set him off and he screamed and laid face down in them middle of the resturant, it broke my heart and utterly shocked me to see him do that. It was at that moment that I knew there was some thing more there, some thing I cant reach or may be even understand right now.

Chandler is a very bright boy with the biggest heart you will ever see.He excels in school and is never a problem. He is also my worry wart and deals with a huge deal of anxiety. Chandler has always had issues with anxiety since about age 3 and it wasnt till now that the pieces are coming together. Anxiety that can be as small as not wanting to go off and play with friends,to not wanting to go to school. There is also a great deal of seperation anxiety specifically with me; something again I never really undestood but am learning and understanding more.

Chandler was bullied in the bathroom at school and since will not use the bathroom at school, in fact will hardly step foot in the bathroom. It truly breaks my heart and may seem so basic but with a child like Chandler he forgets NOTHING and is impacted by EVERYTHING good and bad.

I find my self worrying about him daily while in school worrying if I am going to get another call of an accident cause he was too scared to go use the bathroom. Its small things like this that daily break my heart that my son the sweetest boy I know is held prisoner by these things.

I want nothing more then for him to be happy and worry free and to be able to be a KID. I am nervous,hopeful and anxious to hear the outcome of the specialist.
But have hope that it will be the start of a path to helping him become happy and more free in every day life.

I feel hopeful that he will get help at age 5 and that we can start building tools to give him a happy furture.

This isnt something I feel any reason to post all over facebook. But for those I have invited to share this with I know and trust you understand and respect the REALNESS of this blog. This is not meant to be a "prettied up" blog this will be honest and real, I am not sharing his behaviors by any mean to mock him but in ways to be able to document growth and change.

I have chosen to share this blog with you because I know you love Chandler and my family.

I dont know what lies ahead and Im not sure how I feel and am really scared I cant handle it; but I would give the world for that little boy, so here we go!!